


Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist

by Chan_redd



Category: Ed Edd n Eddy
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-11-09
Packaged: 2019-01-29 19:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12638097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chan_redd/pseuds/Chan_redd
Summary: Somethings never change. Including Kevin's ever present red baseball hat, his use of outdated 80's slang, and his ability to confuse the hell out of Double D.Why does Double D always have to over analyze things?





	1. Free the chickens

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Jascel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jascel/gifts).



> Title taken from a Ramshackle Glory song of the same title. Give it a listen, it's pretty darn beautiful.
> 
> Also this fic is a very belated birthday gift to Jase. Hope you enjoy it, dude. 
> 
> This is the first chapter. The next chapter should be uploaded in a few weeks. 
> 
> These characters do not belong to me.

Eddward despised parties.  
  
They were normally held in small rooms with the smell of bodies permeating the air and more pheromones were in the air than he could handle.  
But (and curse his loyalty to his friends) he had promised Eddy that he would play wingman tonight.  
And Eddward did not break his promises.  
  
“Come on, Double D! You can’t play wingman if you’re stuck against this wall the whole time.”  
“But Eddddyyy, there are so many people here. This entire situation is so unsanitary. Ed just stuck his head into the bowl of punch earlier and people _cheered,_ Eddy. They _cheered_!”  
  
Eddy glared at him.  
  
Edd sighed. “Okay. Let’s get you ‘acquainted’ with the ladies then.”  
  
They pushed through throngs of people to an eventual open space where a group of their friends and a few strangers had formed a circle.  
And they were passing around a joint.  
It was a weed circle.  
  
“Good lord, what would mother think if she knew of these shenanigans,” Edd thought as he looked around nervously at the red eyed and smiling faces.  
  
‘Hi losers!” Eddy exclaimed before forcing himself into the circle.  
Before Double D could protest, Eddy’s hand had come up to grab him by the wrist so that he could pull him into sitting position in the space next to him.  
  
“Hi double dork.” A breathy voice whispered in his ear.  
  
“K-Kevin. Salutations, are you enjoying your night?” Eddward asked, trying to keep his voice steady as he stared at the floor, wringing his hands in an attempt to keep from pulling at his hat.  
  
He doesn’t know why he’s surprised to see Kevin here. Kevin fits in with this party crowd more than he does.  
Edd allows himself a quick glance up at Kevin. And he almost smiles at just how little Kevin has changed over these years. His red hair is still hidden under a red baseball cap and his vocabulary still consisted of outdated ‘80’s phrases. And, although they were never close, Kevin would still send a friendly nod his way when they passed each other in the corridors of their high school and they had friendly conversation whenever they were attending the same party. Which was often, considering that they had mutual friends.  
  
“I’m enjoying it a lot more now.” Kevin said, his face broke into a dopey smile And Edd couldn’t fight the light blush that coloured his cheeks. He was used to Kevin’s nature, the effortless flirting that came to him as easily as breathing. He had seen Kevin flirt with Nazz, Sarah, and on one occurrence, even Lee Kanker.  
He knew not to take it seriously but he couldn’t help the way his body reacted. Especially since he was absolutely infatuated with the red head.  
  
“I am always happy to help.” Edd replied, shaking his head when the joint had made its way to him.  
  
He didn’t mind the fact that people were smoking around him, but he never really had ever wanted to try marijuana himself. He just **knows** that he’ll be the person who has a bad trip and becomes paranoid.  
  
His eyes scanned the circle of people and he recognised a few people from his grade and of course, Ed. If there was weed about, you’d definitely find Ed.  
Ed sent him a lopsided smile and a little wave, before turning back to the conversation he was having with May Kanker.  
  
“You don’t smoke?” Kevin asked.  
  
“Not really.” Edd replied with a shrug of his shoulders.  
  
“Do you drink?”  
  
“Normally yes, but today I was forced out of my house to play ‘wingman’. And I have a history essay due in a few days, so I’d like to go home sober to work on it.”  
  
“Nerd.” Eddy fake coughed next to them.  
  
Edd glared at Eddy. He wasn’t allowed to make fun of him if he was the only reason he was out in the first place!  
  
“Wanna go raid the kitchen cupboards for snacks?” Kevin said next to him, his voice so soft and so close that Eddward felt that those words were meant just for him; a secret between the two of them.  
  
“Okay.” He breathed out, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up at the feel of Kevin’s warm breath ghosting across his ear.  
  
Kevin grabbed his hand and pulled Edd out of the cramped room, his fingers entwining with Edd’s own before he realized what was happening.

Edd’s hormones were going insane.  
  
“Kevin, may I enquire as to what sort of snacks you are looking for?”, Double D said, tentatively making his way through the groups of people blocking their entry into the kitchen.  
  
“Dunno. Snacky snacks.”  
  
“How descriptive.”  
  
Kevin merely sent a grin his way, his hand never relinquishing its hold on Edd’s.  
They eventually reached the kitchen and the hold on Eddward was released.  
   
Edd tried to ignore the pang of loss that he inexplicably felt.  
  
“Okay, so we have a bag of chips, half a package of chocolate chip cookies and… two slabs of chocolate.” Kevin announced, his head emerging from the kitchen cupboard.  
  
“That sounds like an adequate meal. Or ‘Snacky snack’ as you so eloquently stated.”  
  
“Keep being mean and you won’t get to share in my spoils.” Kevin retorted, a grin across his lips as he motioned for Double D to follow him out of the room.  
  
And that was how Double D spent that night. Alone with Kevin in a stranger’s room, sitting crossed legged on the floor as they shared stolen snacks. Both pretending not to notice when the other’s gaze stayed on them just a little too long, or the electric feel of the other’s fingers on their own as they shared snacks.  
  
___________________________________________________  
  
“DOUBLE D”  
  
Eddward sighed, looking over in Kevin’s direction and shooting him a look of apology.  
  
“Yes?”  
  
“Eddy said that you’re driving him home and I don’t wanna go home with Rolf because I’m still pretty sure he wants to kill me for setting his chicken’s free last month, so can I pleeeeeeease get a ride from you?”, the door opened a little and Ed’s face poked its way through, a hopeful smile on his face.  
  
“of course, Ed. You really do have to stop freeing Rolf’s chickens however. Honestly, they’re safer there than outside.”  
  
“But they’re in such small cages Double D! I can see how unhappy they are and it makes me unhappy!”, Edd cried.  
  
Double D tended to forget how invested Ed was in his chicken break outs.  
  
“Are you ready to leave now? Because I am feeling a little tired and would like to get home to begin my school work.”  
  
Ed nodded eagerly, “I’ll just go get Eddy!”  
  
“Hey, Double Dweeb. Do you mind if I catch a ride with you too? I’m pretty certain that my ride home is passed out somewhere or is erm… busy.”  
  
Edd had almost forgotten that Kevin was still in the room.  
  
“Of course, Kevin.”, Double D answered without a moment of hesitation, “I’d rather drive you home than have you driven home by an intoxicated individual.”  
  
“Choice. Thanks, dude.”  
  
After about ten minutes of gathering jackets and friends, everyone is in Double D’s old, but sturdy, car.  
The car wasn’t much, a small electric-blue car that had problems going up a hill if the air con was on as well and sure, it sometimes felt like it was about to fall apart, but it was his and he loved it.  
  
“Right. Everyone buckle up and for the love of God, no one throw up in my car.” Double D instructed, trying to sound as stern as possible.  
  
“DOUBLE D,” Ed shouted, his excitement barely contained as he bounced in his seat, “can we stop at KFC on the way home? Please!”  
  
Edd groaned. This happened every time he was designated driver (which was almost always), Ed would get drunk or high and guilt trip him into driving by the KFC that was on the other side of town.  
  
“Ed, it’s almost 15 minutes out of the way! And you do realize that the gravy isn’t vegetarian, right?”  
  
“I still don’t understand why you’re vegetarian, Ed. We’re _supposed_ to eat animals, food chain and all of that jazz.” Eddy said, making himself comfortable in the back seat. He had been in a bad mood earlier at the lack of female attention he had received, but the familiar feel of Ed’s broad shoulders against his, and the warm sensation of being in a car with his best friends (excluding Kevin, of course) had quickly changed that.  
  
“The animals Eddy! The great, cuddly animals!” Ed replied dramatically, leaning forward on the center console so that he could give Double D a good look at his signature puppy dog eyes, thrown in with a little lip tremble for added affect.  
  
“FINE.” Double D grumbled out, starting his car and noticing the grin on Kevin’s face.  
  
“What?” He asked, shifting into reverse as he watched out for drunk young adults. He had an essay to work on, he didn’t have time to run someone over and deal with the mess.  
  
“You’re basically Mama Edd.” Kevin said, grinning as he looked at Eddward.  
  
“Oh shush. You saw those puppy dog eyes; how could I have said no to that?”  
  
At this, Kevin lets out a laugh and the sound is so pure and unguarded that Eddward is sure that he has just forgotten how to breathe.  
  
By the time that they had gone past the drive through, and then driven to McDonald’s as well because Eddy HAD to have a McFlurry right then or he was going to die, it was already well past 1am and Eddward was ready to crawl into bed. History essay be damned.  
  
He parked on his driveway and turned to look at his guests.  
  
“I’ve played the part of chauffer, you can now all get out of my car. Goodnight.”  
  
“Rude.” Eddy said, his lips curling into a smirk as he unbuckled his seat belt, “you act as though we aren’t the best part of your life.”  
Eddward, despite his tiredness, smirked back. “that’s because you aren’t. Now get the hell out of car.”  
  
He watched his friends drunkenly stumble out of his car, and begin to walk towards their respective houses, calling out their goodbyes as they walked. Kevin, however, remained on Double D’s driveway.  
  
“Is something the matter, Kevin?” He asked, locking his car and checking that his lights were not left on.  
  
“I… uh, just want to walk you to your door?” Kevin said, his cheeks lighting up with a light blush which Eddward thankfully could not see due to the low lighting in the driveway.  
  
“oh, okay?” Eddward said, confusion clearly evident on his features.  
  
They walked to Edd’s door in silence and turned to look at each other awkwardly.  
  
“I guess I should say thank you?” Eddward said, the situation confusing him. Why did it feel like he was a teenage girl being walked to her door after a date?  
  
“tonight was nice. I liked hanging out with you. We should… we should do that more often.” Kevin said, refusing to meet Eddward’s eyes with his own.  
  
“I agree. Although I fail to see how spending a night with me, eating junk food, is more enjoyable than being with your friends.” Eddward stated, laughing lightly as he searched for his house keys in his pockets.  
  
Kevin looked at him, his mouth turned down in a frown and his eyebrows knitted together as he finally looked up to search Eddward’s face.  
  
“You mean you don’t know?”  
  
Eddward tilted his head slightly, not really making sense of the conversation they were having.  
  
“Know what, Kevin?”  
  
Instead of answering him, however, Kevin stepped closer. His hand cupped the back of Double D’s neck and before he could process the closeness of Kevin’s face to his and how he had a light sprinkling of freckles across his nose and cheeks that used to be darker when they were kids, Kevin’s lips were on his and he felt himself gasp.  
  
Kevin’s lips were soft, unlike Double D’s own chapped ones, and he tasted like the chocolate chip cookies they had shared earlier. A tongue tentatively licked at his lips and Double D opened his mouth wider, letting his own tongue lick against Kevin’s. Kevin made a strangled noise at the back of his throat before grabbing Double D’s hips in his hands and pushing him up against the door to his house. Double D pushed his own hands into Kevin’s hair, knocking the baseball cap off and onto the ground. Kevin broke the kiss and licked his way down Double D’s jaw line, sucking softly at the pulse behind his neck. This caused Eddward to almost black out with need as he pulled Kevin closer to him and bucked his hips into Kevin’s. The groan that escaped Kevin’s throat brought Double D back to reality. He pushed Kevin away and wiped at his mouth.  
  
“W-why?” He stuttered, looking at Kevin, and trying to not sound like he had just run up five flights of stairs.  
  
Kevin looks at him with a slightly sheepish grin and before he speaks Eddward feels anger rise up in his throat so fast that he might just vomit all over his floral welcome mat.  
  
“Is this some kind of sick joke? Are you messing with me? Did you somehow find out that I like you and that’s why you’re doing this? Is this a fucking prank set up between you and your stupid jock friends?”  
  
Kevin flinches at the sound of the profanity being spat out by Double D. It sounded so wrong, so angry and so completely hurt.  
  
“Double D, it’s not like that…”  
  
But before he could complete his sentence Double D had opened the door to his house and had slammed the door in his face without so much as a second glance.  
  
Kevin stared at the chipped wood of Eddward’s front door, his heart beating in his ears as he tried to remember how to breathe normally.  
  
“Fuck.”  
  
   
  
  



	2. Martians

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is this some kind of sick joke? Are you messing with me? Did you somehow find out that I like you and that’s why you’re doing this? Is this a fucking prank set up between you and your stupid jock friends?”
> 
> Kevin flinches at the sound of the profanity being spat out by Double D. It sounded so wrong, so angry and so completely hurt.
> 
> “Double D, it’s not like that…”
> 
> But before he could complete his sentence Double D had opened the door to his house and had slammed the door in his face without so much as a second glance.

Eddward had spent the majority of his weekend writing a terrible History essay and trying to not see Kevin’s face whenever he closed his eyes. But he felt that everything in his house reminded him of the red head and Eddward was on the brink of passing out if he stayed in his room any longer.   
  
What was Kevin’s game here? There was no way that he actually **liked** Double D. The very idea is preposterous. Kevin is popular, and attractive and… so very much out of Double D’s league.   
He sighed and ran his hands through his black hair, wincing as his fingers caught on a few tangles that he hadn’t brushed out that morning.   
Had he even brushed his hair that morning?   
He couldn’t remember. All that he could remember was the feel of Kevin’s lips on his own and the feel of Kevin’s arousal against his leg as he pushed him against the front door.   
  
Double D was a mess.   
  
Was Kevin even… gay? Double D was sure that Kevin was always in a relationship, and none of the people he dated were of the male gender, or any variant of the female gender.   
  
Eddward had come to accept his own sexuality a few years ago, but had never really felt the need to tell anyone.   
His parents were never home to notice that their only child never dated, and his friends had probably come to the conclusion that he was never very interested in dating. Which he wasn’t.   
He was, however, very interested in Kevin.   
  
He picked up his outdated iPhone and typed a quick message to Eddy.   
  
To: Eddy  
  
Salutations, Eddy.   
Would it be alright if I came over? Being cooped up at home is slowly driving me to the brink of madness.   
  
Eddy replied immediately.   
  
From: Eddy  
  
Pls cum over. Ed is here nd hes drivin me mad  
  
Double smiled and grabbed his hat before bounding down the stairs. He needed someone else’s opinion on this whole situation.   
  
___________________________________________________________________________  
  
They were settled in Eddy’s room, with Double D on Eddy’s weirdly shaped round bed, and Eddy bitching about how he wasn’t getting any matches on tinder as he and Edd swiped through pictures on his phone.  
Eddward took a deep breath as he prepared himself for the bomb he was about to drop on his best friends.   
  
  
“Kevin kissed me last night.  
Also I’m gay.”   
  
There was a silence and for a terrible moment Double D thought that they hadn’t heard him and that he would have to psych himself up all over again to repeat it.   
  
Then Eddy turns to look at him with a look of astonishment and slight disgust on his face.   
  
“Are you dating Kevin?”   
  
Double D looked away, scared that if he made eye contact with Eddy he was going to let the tears that were stinging in his eyes fall down his cheeks. He knew that there was a possibility that his friends wouldn’t accept him with open arms. But he felt so raw, so exposed telling them this intimate detail of his life and he felt like any negative word would break him.   
  
“We’re not dating, no.”  he finally manages to croak out, his eyes stuck to eddy’s garish purple bedding.   
  
“Why Kevin???” Eddy exclaimed, throwing himself onto the bed dramatically, “why did your debut as a gay man have to involve my arch nemesis.”   
  
Double D looked at Eddy in utter shock, his mouth opened and closed a few times before his brain could fully process the scene in front of him.   
  
“Eddy…” He said, tentatively as he tried to understand what was happening, “I just told you that I identify as homosexual. Does that not bother you? Do you not want to disown me as a friend?”   
  
“What are you? Stupid? You could tell me that you were a Martian and it wouldn’t change the way I see you, sockhead.”   
  
“Double D is a Martian?” Ed said, looking up from Eddy’s phone and dropping himself onto the bed next to his friends.   
  
“Nah, he’s just gay.”   
  
“Oh. Would have been more exciting if he was a Martian.”   
  
Double D couldn’t help the smile that twitched at the corner of his lips, “you two are insufferable.”   
  
“And yet you still love us. What does that say about your character, Eddward?”   
  
Eddy stopped talking when a pillow was chucked at his head.   
  
“I… need your help with this whole Kevin situation.” Eddward said, playing with a thread that had begun to fray on his t-shit. “I think I may have handled it quite terribly.”   
  
Eddy grumbled, crossing his arms. “Good. You’re too good for Kevin. Let’s find you someone else.”   
Double D smiled at the protective tone in Eddy’s voice. Eddy may seem insensitive and narcissistic at best to those around him, but his friends knew his true nature. He was protective and loyal to both Ed and Double D, ready to drop everything if either one of them needed his help.   
  
“I like him, Eddy. A lot. Help me mend my mistake?”   
  
“Fine. But you owe me like a million jawbreakers for falling in love with that asshat. Get higher standards, Double D.”   
  
“Sorry,” Double D chirped, “I had to drop my standards tremendously in order to be your friend.”   
  
“Touché.” Eddy said, laying back on his bed, “so, what happened?”   
  
­­_________________________________________________________  
  
Kevin was sitting at his kitchen table, trying to work on his math homework when he heard a knock on his door. He frowned at the door and considered not getting up to answer it. Especially if it was Rolf on the other side, needing him to complete some arbitrary and time-consuming task on his family’s farm.   
Kevin really needed to finish this homework.   
  
Too bad he had no fucking idea what was going on.   
  
“Argh.” He groaned, banging his head on the table.   
  
The knocking came again.   
  
“Kevin?” A tentative voice called out.   
  
Kevin immediately looked up. That sounded like Double Dweeb’s voice.   
He winced, remembering their last encounter. Was he here to tell him that he wanted nothing to do with him anymore?   
  
Kevin reluctantly got up from his chair and walked to the door. He took a deep breath and opened it.   
  
Double D stood on the other side. His cheeks were coloured pink and he was nervously picking at his cuticles as he smiled at Kevin.   
  
“Double D?”   
  
“Kevin. I know that I may have reacted quite badly to the… kiss on Friday night. But it was unexpected, and I had never even considered that fact that you could be homosexual or that you could have feelings for someone like me. My friends have made me realize that I overreacted and that I owe you an apology as well as an opportunity to explain yourself.” Double D finally stopped to take a breath, his voice become shaky as he quickly and slowly said the next sentence, “however, if this is a joke or a prank or a dare, please let me know now before I become to invested in the very notion that someone like me has a chance with someone like you.”   
  
There was a silence after double D had finished speaking and he was afraid to look up. Afraid that this was all a joke and that if he had to look into Kevin’s eyes right now he would see the evidence of a cruel joke. Laughter at Double D’s expense.   
  
Instead, he felt slightly calloused hands cup his cheeks, and Kevin’s eyes met his and all that was in Kevin’s eyes was the soft look of someone who was looking at someone that they were afraid to handle too roughly in case they broke it.   
  
“Double D, “he whispered, his warm breath washing over Double D’s lips, making them tingle. “I really like you. This isn’t a prank or dare or anything. This is me thinking that I really want to kiss you because you’re all I can think about these days.”   
  
Double D felt all of the air escape his lungs, electric shocks shooting to the tips of his fingers and toes.   
  
“You may. Kiss me that is. If you wish.”   
  
And as the streetlights came on in the small cul-de-sac, Kevin touched his lips to Eddward’s.   
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was my debut back into the fanfiction world after like 4/5 years. So i decided to keep it quite short. I hope you enjoyed this, i had a hell of a time writing it. 
> 
> if you follow south park fanfiction, keep an eye out for a multi-chapter Craig and Tweek piece that i plan to write in the upcoming weeks.


End file.
